by theprotrusion on June 3, 2009
Washington – Senator Chuck Grassley, Republican of Iowa, and Senator Max Baucus, Democrat of Montana, traded sandwiches in the Capitol cafeteria today, according to several people present at the time of the trade.
The two have worked together in the past, and are currently hard at work on fashioning critical health care legislation as leaders of the Senate Finance Committee. Sen. Baucus is the committee chairman and Sen. Grassley the ranking Republican.
According to witnesses who were in the cafeteria at the time of the sandwich trade, it was Grassley who made the generous overture when he saw a need on the part of his Democratic colleague.
“Senator Grassley had ordered a tuna melt,” a senator also in the cafeteria at the time of the trade, said. The senator spoke on condition of anonymity. “And Senator Baucus looked over when he sat down and said, ‘Wow, that looks good. I should have gotten that.’ I think he had a turkey club or something. And Grassley looked over and smiled, and pushed his plate towards Baucus, and took Baucus’s plate for himself.” [click to continue…]
by theprotrusion on May 10, 2009
Washington – Senator Walter Shitonface (D-WI) urged his senate colleagues to swiftly pass a bill to ease the process of officially and legally changing one’s name in the United States. Shitonface said his desire to see the legislation made into law had nothing to do with a displeasure with his own name, though he acknowledged an awareness of the difficulty of going through life with a name that is easily made fun of.
“This is not about me,” he told his colleagues from the Senate floor. “My name was given to me by my parents, Arthur and Lorraine Shitonface, and I am not ashamed of it. I never have been. Nor was my son Lloyd Shitonface ever ashamed. However, my grandson, Timmy Shitonface, is coming of age in a much more cruel, difficult time, it seems. He has endured relentless mockery at school, certainly worse than what I suffered. They say–Well, they don’t have to change the name at all, do they? And isn’t that the shame of it? All they have to do is call him by his name. ‘Hey, Shitonface, where are you going?’ ‘Oh, it’s Mr. Shitonface himself.’ That kind of thing. Just imagine what it’s like for him in the bathroom.”
The senator said it’s not just members of his own family he’s concerned about. Thousands of people across the country, he says, seek to change their names each year, but many give up due to the bureaucratic obstacles they find standing in their way.
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