by theprotrusion on June 4, 2009
Jackson, Mississippi – The Mississippi legislature today approved a hotly contested piece of legislation that legalizes marriage between two people with the same father. Governor Haley Barbour signed the legislation late this afternoon, making Mississippi the first state to legalize marriage between a brother and sister.
“This is about equality, and this is about progress, in a way,” Mr. Barbour said after signing the bill. “Not in terms of evolution, maybe, but progress nonetheless. A brother and a sister who love one another and want to form a committed relationship, they should have the opportunities and benefits that are granted to everybody else. It’s not their fault they fell in love with the person who grew up down the hall from them.”
The legislation explicitly forbids marriage between two siblings of the same sex. Governor Barbour said that would have been taking the bill too far. [click to continue…]
by theprotrusion on May 10, 2009
Washington – Senator Walter Shitonface (D-WI) urged his senate colleagues to swiftly pass a bill to ease the process of officially and legally changing one’s name in the United States. Shitonface said his desire to see the legislation made into law had nothing to do with a displeasure with his own name, though he acknowledged an awareness of the difficulty of going through life with a name that is easily made fun of.
“This is not about me,” he told his colleagues from the Senate floor. “My name was given to me by my parents, Arthur and Lorraine Shitonface, and I am not ashamed of it. I never have been. Nor was my son Lloyd Shitonface ever ashamed. However, my grandson, Timmy Shitonface, is coming of age in a much more cruel, difficult time, it seems. He has endured relentless mockery at school, certainly worse than what I suffered. They say–Well, they don’t have to change the name at all, do they? And isn’t that the shame of it? All they have to do is call him by his name. ‘Hey, Shitonface, where are you going?’ ‘Oh, it’s Mr. Shitonface himself.’ That kind of thing. Just imagine what it’s like for him in the bathroom.”
The senator said it’s not just members of his own family he’s concerned about. Thousands of people across the country, he says, seek to change their names each year, but many give up due to the bureaucratic obstacles they find standing in their way.
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